People often talk about following their heart, but that is actually an inaccurate statement. In Matthew 6:21 Jesus says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” It doesn’t say where your heart is will determine what you treasure. My oldest granddaughter with the kind of wisdom that only true innocence can possess stated it simply in a conversation I overheard between her and her little sister a few years ago.
She was about 5 at the time and I believe her sister was about 3. They were playing together in the next room when out of the blue the 3 year old said, “God is in my heart.” The 5 year old replied, “The things you really want are what’s in your heart, so if you want God in your heart then he is.” Short pause and the 3 year old says, “yeah.”, and then they resumed playing. She already understood that whatever is in your mind is what goes into your heart. Why do we forget that most important of lessons? No wonder Jesus said we must become as little children to enter the kingdom of heaven.
If we want to change our hearts we must first change our minds. That is the answer to so many of our problems. Sometimes we look at other people who seem to be so much more loving and giving, or so much more passionate about their faith and we think it’s just in their nature. As if we’re either born that way or we’re not. But if in fact our heart follows our mind, our hearts can be transformed by changing the focus of our minds.
In scripture we are repeatedly commanded to love our neighbors. The burning question is how can we truly do that? How do we build our love for others, especially our enemies? How indeed could Jesus so love those who persecuted, tortured, and crucified him?
The other day I believe I had a bit of a revelation about that. We always think that we love others based on what they do for and to us, but the truth is it’s exactly the opposite. Our love for others grows out of what we do for them. Take for example our children. Who do we love in the world more than our own children? No-one. Why do we love them? Is it because they are so loveable? Well sometimes, but the objective truth is they often aren’t. Anyone who has raised a child to adulthood can testify to that, especially in the teen years. No our children are not about the business of living for us. We are about living for them. That is the point. We pour our whole selves into their well being. The more we give of ourselves to them the more our love for them grows. That’s why adoptive parents are able to love their children the way they love their biological children. It is in the process of nurturing the child that they come to love the child.
This revelation actually came to me as I was pondering the movie “Fireproof”.
At the beginning not only had Catherine quit loving Caleb, but Caleb had also stopped loving his wife. Thank goodness he had a wise and loving father who proposed the love dare to him. In the beginning Caleb thought it was about teaching his wife to love him again. Isn’t that the way most of us feel about the subject of marital love? How can we create more love for us in the hearts of our mates? The truth is we can’t. We can only increase the love we have for them. The more we give of ourselves to them the more our love for them increases. Their love may or may not be increased as a response to ours. It often does, but that is not guaranteed. However, as we open ourselves to them it is guaranteed that our love for them will grow. In the process of trying to win back Catherine’s love for him, Caleb regained his love for her.
We’ve all seen examples of someone hotly pursuing another, and the more they pursue the more obsessed they become in their pursuit. Remember, “Where your treasure is your heart will be also. That is because wherever you fix your mind and your purpose your heart will follow.
Your heart does not determine where you go and what you do. Your mind determines where your heart will go. If you want to change your passions change your actions. If you want to love more do more loving acts. Your heart will get on board.
Why is Jesus able to love us so completely? He came to do his Father’s will. His whole focus was our salvation. In the act of giving everything he has and is for us his love gained strength and was sustained.
If you want to change the things and the people you love and feel passionate about, change your mind and your actions. Your heart will soon follow.
Darlene Shay